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Roseanne Barr Quotes

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.

When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job.

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people ...that's why I don't like any of them.

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.

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Cheeky Quotes

Photos from Northern Norway

Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.

Bart Simpson