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Jack Benny Quotes

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful woman - and you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Modesty is my best quality.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

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Cheeky Quotes

Carl McCrosky's Photos

I was so surprised at being born that I didn't speak for a year and a half.

Grace Allen