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Erma Bombeck Quotes

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. (on the US presidency)

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

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Cheeky Quotes

Carl McCrosky's Photos

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

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