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He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.


Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.


He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.


The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.


Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.


I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.


Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.


Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.


In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.


The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.


Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.


You live and learn. At any rate, you live.


It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.


It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.



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